Sunday, November 16, 2014

The Uphill Bike - An END to the Fall Race Series!

Well, its official, the FALL RACE SERIES is OVER!

Yesterday it all came to a dramatic end, with the TriClub tackling the Spanish Banks hill in the most miserable and frosty of conditions. To us, it probably looked something like this...

Many a club member were present, each dressed to tackle the cold weather riding ahead - Seth opted for a full winter coat - in case he wanted to ski post-ride. Jamie decided that half-length bike shorts would be good enough - likely counting on the bulk from his massive legs to keep him warm. Katelyn bravely chose the "no gloves" approach to the race - a strategy that may have earned her 15 extra "spirit" points towards her race series standing..(I haven't actually mentioned this to Jen yet, but I will try and swing it for ya...)

Now on to the race...

First to leave was Jen M, while Matt bravely waited at the bottom of the hill to start the remainder of the crew in 20 second intervals. Despite the cold conditions, the TriClubbers were not deterred..Sean, Eric and Alec all put in strong performances, all finishing within 10 seconds of each other. Back from a short absence was Jen B, who gave it all she had, but wasn't able to close the gap to the overall Women's leader on the day - Jen M. It was a similar situation on the Men's side, with Matt going all in to try and beat Jamie, but in the end it wasn't meant to be, and when the smoke cleared Jamie had beat him by 1 SECOND!

Enough said...

And so, it was over..UNTILL THE NEW YEAR..when we begin the SPRING RACE SERIES!

But don't be sad - there are still a TON of fun TriClub events left this semester. The OVERALL RACE series is still to be decided as many of you have make-up races to complete! Who will have their name inscribed on the trophy? You will have to come to the club banquet to find out!

In the mean time..stay tuned for our next fun event!!


Thursday, November 13, 2014

DENIM MILE! (Return of Chains of Death, Hobbits and Jean Skirts?)

Tonight was our second last Race Series Event! It's hard to believe that another semester of epic racing is almost at a close…

Heres how it all went down:

A great many denim clad triathlon warriors arrived at the track this evening, sporting the latest denim sporting attire. Seth chose a more un-orthodox approach to his denim, wearing a denim-esque toque that is sure to be featured on many a runway across Europe next summer. Eric's short shorts would have make even Tobias Funke blush a little. Mads came sporting a nifty jean jacket, while Katelyn opted for full on jean-capris. Matt took perhaps the most radical approach of all, sporting a women's designer jean skirt that he no doubt had kept from his high-school cheerleading days. Basically, there was enough denim at the track tonight to put a Levi's factory out of business….

Despite a busy track, we had a TON of fast performances this evening, with Mike and Jen taking the top Men's and Women's spot, respectively. Way to go you two! Christie put in a strong performance this evening, along with Kazuma and Megan R as well. Awesome work team! It is believed that Seth might have run faster, but he seemed to be more interested in talking about the new HOBBIT MOVIE with anyone who would listen…P.S. in case Seth didn't mention to you it comes out December 17..

So, just a short post this evening as this SATURDAY is our final event! EVER! Well, not really - as we will have a Spring 2015 race series! The Men's and Women's Race has yet to be decided!

On the Men's side it is a close race between Jamie and Matt, with Jamie hanging on to a slender 8 point lead. Jen M has been enjoying her time on top - but anything could happen on the bike - who will take her crown? It will all come down to who is the fastest on the HILL OF TRUTH (Aka the Spanish Banks HIll..but w/e). Shields shall be broken, spears shattered…oh wait no. Sorry that was The Hobbit, Seth is getting to me… 

Come out this Saturday to lay it all on the line! Meet at 10 AM at the club office, we will do a short warmup as a group, and then tackle the final event in what has been one of the most epic race series EVER!

-Your Exec (Chains of Death)…..

P.S. All members who have not completed any Race Series events have until the 23 of November to do so. After that YOUR POINTS WILL NOT COUNT towards the overall standings.. So make it happen captain!

Saturday, November 8, 2014

It's the SWIM recap!

Hi everyone,

Just last week we had another awesome Race Series Event..the 500 M swim. As mentioned in a previous post, the competitiveness of this years race series has reached an all time HIGH, and we (the exec) are LOVING everyone's participation and enthusiasm for all the events this term..

Before we get into the gritty details just a reminder: There are only 2 EVENTS LEFT! Who will be the ultimate Men's/Women's champion? Who will be most improved? Most consistent? Best moustache?

But now, on to the swim.

Christie, wanting to avoid the traffic, arrived to the pool first (almost 20 minutes early!) and proceeded to get focussed for the big event.


Slowly all the other members arrived, each looking ready to begin. Jamie arrived sporting a fashionable moustache, which he claimed would reduce his hydrodynamic drag by up to 50% per lap. Also in attendance was club LEGEND Winston - AKA the SILENT ASSASSIN. Eric and Nima were seen conspiring in a far corner of the pool, no doubt planning the best way to slow down Matt on the swim. Vanessa spent the majority of the workout bobbing up and down in the shallow end, complaining about the cold water, and Sean seemed to spend an awful lot of time hanging on to the edge of the pool, citing that it was part of his "special warm-up". Jamie was caught trying to strap 4 pull-buoys to his legs in an effort to provide some means of flotation to his massive quads. Jenn M also tried a similar strategy, but instead chose to strap weights to her ankles so she could try to run along the bottom of the pool instead of swimming. Missing for the proceedings was Jenn B. As already a fantastic swimmer, we suspect Jenn purposely stayed home to give everyone else a fighting chance in the points race. Rounding out the host of strong performances, Kazuma and Katrina both put in strong swims to finish under 10:00. Likewise, Vince was seen pushing himself right to the wall (both in the physical sense and the ermmm..mental sense?). 

Also not in attendance was Club President Seth, who claimed he "had class"... For those who are not aware, Seth also skipped the Aquathon with a similar excuse, citing on that occasion that he had to "take his pet goldfish to the vet"...Ahuh...Seth...ahuh.

Overall, everyone in attendance put in a strong swim performance, with Spencer taking the win on the Men's side and Katelyn  for the Women. Nicely done! With the completion of the swim, we seen another shake-up in the Race-Series, with Matt taking back 1st place from Jamie. Jen M still maintains her commanding lead on the Women's side. Will she make it 2 overall wins in a row? 

Reminder this Thursday - THE DENIM MILE - bring your best denim outfit and get ready to suffer through 4 laps round the track.

If you have never been out to a Race Series event, its NOT TOO LATE TO START! Any/all current club members are welcomed. It's a fun and easy way to connect with a great group of people who love doing the same things as YOU!

-Your Exec

Saturday, November 1, 2014

2 Blogs for 1 - 5 K.M. and Brick Recap - RACE SERIES SHAKE-UP

Forget the introductions, we are just gonna get right to the action with this blog..because out there today this just got serious..

But now, back to the 5 K.M. (Thursday) 

Things started out pretty good. An exceptional turn out, with Jenn M. leading the way to Acadia Rd. for the start of the 5 K.M. And then the rain came, and I mean hard..and it was windy...and dark. Fortunately this deterred nobody! Eric (who up until now had been quietly biding his time) unleashed a furious run, gliding around the course like a Gazelle with robotic implants for legs. Eric set such a blistering pace that only the most elite Tri-Club runners could hang tough with him. But in the end Eric put his closest rivals (Jenn and Jamie) to the sword as he soloed to victory. On the Women's side Jenn M. won with a gutsy run, clocking in just over 18:00. 

After taking the Men's points lead, defending Race Series champ suffered a heavy blow, as he stopped the clock the slowest out of the Men, with Jamie now resuming the top spot. Jenn M's win in the 5 K.M. was also enough to put her back in the number one position. 

Above - Artist's depiction of Matt during his run..

Other strong runs came from Jen B, Nima, Seth, Megan, Alex and Vincent. Sean C was unfortunately unable to join, so he thought he would do the race alone.....getting lost in the process. We think his run went something like this...

The BRICK!! (Saturday)
Although a little cold, you could not have asked for a better day for a morning of suffering. Unfortunately the team was a little slow off the mark today..with Seth taking the obligatory first tire flat of the morning. Next to flat was Men's Race Series leader Jamie (It has been suggested that his flat was resultant from a bag of thumbtacks Sean "accidentally" left on the roadside).. But of course we can only speculate.. 

With the race underway it was Nima who put in a blistering bike pace. On the Women's side Mads made all the ladies suffer with her speed as well. However, it was Jenn M who would take her second win in a row, with Nima taking his first Race Series win of the season. Yeee buddy. 

Other notable mentions include - Sean not getting lost. Christie putting in a solid run performance, and Vanessa having the fastest transition time of the day. Also of note - Matt hiding Jamie's shoes for the second time in a futile attempt of sabotage. And of course Seth shouts of "CHAINS OF DEATH" throughout the entire workout (Which it was later determined that he meant to say "Chase them down", but in his excitement things just got jumbled..) And thus a potential new club slogan was born..

Above - artists depiction of Jamie's legs post-brick.. 

Up next the 500 M SWIM - remember guys, in the pool ANYTHING can happen! Heroes will rise, waves will be made, points will be earned...

Will Jamie hold onto the Men's lead? Will Guillem rise from the shadows to take his crown? What about Jen B? Jen has been uber-consistent this season, so we can't rule her out.. Vanessa seems to be full of surprises this year, and at the very least seems poised to take the "Transitioner Of The Year Award"

Untill the next event,
(Chains of Death!)

Sunday, October 19, 2014

Aquathon Epic-ness!

Well, it's official - this Race Series is HEATING UP!

Back this year by popular demand was the crowd favorite Aquathon!

Here's some of the highlights...

The pressure was on from the moment the Tri-Club members walked on the deck. Jamie and Sean, who have now formed a secret alliance against Matt and Eric, were seen sporting matching speedos which they claimed would decrease their swim time by 30 seconds!

At this point, President Seth was nowhere to be seen... Seth showed up fashionably late only to announce he would not race today - only to be seen swimming after the event! (Suspicious?). Christie was looking pretty fierce on the pool deck, so much that she may have scared Mads into completing an extra 100 M during the swim...

Matt attempted to hide Jamie's shoes, but was foiled by an ever watchful Guillem (Boo), and Vanessa was seen floating at the bottom of the pool while she attempted to evade Tia's warmup.

The run was equally suspect, with several members (Ahem, Sean) taking alternate routes through campus. Katelyn put in a super strong performance on both the swim and the run, absolutely dominating the Women's field (And taking the right run route, mind you!)

But in the end everything worked out! Check the results below, and stay tuned for an updated scoring sheet....

Swim Time
Total Time
Matt B
Sean S
Katelyn D
Vanessa T
Eric Z
Katrina D
Juno S
Christie A
Cassia O
Charlotte K
Megan R
Jenny L

-Your Tri-Club Exec

Thursday, October 16, 2014

Hill Run - Race Recap!

Another awesome turnout for the hill run this evening!

Tonight we had almost 20 people tackle the terrible ascent on the trails just outside campus. Read on to see how it all went down, and how the Women's Race Series underwent a major shakeup!

Ever the gentleman, Eric bravely decided to be the first one up the steep inclines. On the women's side it was Emma taking up the next position. Third to start was our beloved President, Big Seth. In 15 second intervals, the rest of crew sprinted for their lives up the hill, with our beloved blogger and (Quasi) Exec Matt taking up the rear.

If you have never done the Tri-Club uphill run, you might find an accurate description in the picture below:

As I mentioned, there was a bit of a shake up  in the points standings! On the Men's side, Jame retains his lead, but Matt is creeping up! On the Women's side, we see Jenn M in the hot seat, with Katelyn and Katrina taking a solid second and third, respectively.

Want all the results? Check the link below:

See you all SUNDAY! For the Aquathon!!!!!

-Your TriClub Exec

Wednesday, October 15, 2014


Just a reminder that we have 2 AWESOME RACE SERIES EVENTS this week! If you weren't at Iona Beach and are wondering what the next events are...then read on!

This week:

Thursday - 5:30 P.M. at the club office - we will be jogging together as a group to the start of the ~1 K.M. uphill trail run. POST-RUN: Sushi Social organized by Janis!

Sunday - 9 A.M. at the pool - its AQUATHON time - back by popular demand, its a 500 M swim following by a ~3 K.M. run.

Current Points Leaders:
After one event we see Jamie (Men) and Mads (Women) taking the top spot on the leaderboards. Remember, it's a long race series, and anything can happen! Expect a points shakeup as some of our stronger swimmers/runners come to the fore.

Monday, October 13, 2014

Race Series Results & Upcoming Race Series Events

Last week we had an amazing turnout for our first Race Series Event – the Iona Beach Time Trial. Over 15 people came out and burned it up over the flat 10 K.M. course, despite the super wet conditions. The day started pretty ominously – with dark clouds brewing in the sky. Club President – Seth – was not deterred, and decided the best way to tackle the incoming rain was to eat a pastrami sandwich (Carb gains?) prior to heading off on the bike.

Once at the beach, the race began! Jen (who graciously volunteered to time the event) decided she would get a head start on everybody and complete her race early – secretly we now believe that she was attempting to take advantage of the early morning tail-wind!

The boys set off first, with Jamie and Sean taking the first few positions. Jamie’s legs (super charged from years of rowing) carried him across the 10 K.M. course with apparent ease as he set the day’s fastest time. Next to roll in for the men were Sean and Nima, separated by only 2 seconds! (Drafting suspicions?) Seth was quoted after the race as saying – “I wish I didn’t eat that sandwich”, but still put in a strong performance. Other strong rides that day came from Derek, Guillam and Vincent. The Women’s race was no less competitive with the likes of Mads, Jenn, Vanessa, Kaitlin, Becca and Katrina taking to the start line. But at the end of the race it was Mads who would emerge the victor on the women’s side, with Jenn and Vanessa taking second and third, respectively.

For the official times/points scoring, head to our FB page! Remember this week we have 2 races series events!

1.       Thursday October 16 – Uphill Run

2.       Sunday October 19 – Aquathon

-Your Tri Club Exec


Thursday, October 2, 2014

Race Series #1 - Iona Beach Time Trial

Iona Beach 10 K.M. TIME TRIAL!

Hi everyone,

Yes, the moment you have all been waiting for is here.


Never been part of the Tri-Club Race Series? Wondering what it is all about? Read on to get all the details in advance of this Saturday..

What - A 10 K.M. individual bike ride at Iona Beach (Near Vancouver Airport)

When - Meet at the Tri-Club office at 10 AM - sharp! We will be riding as a group out to Iona Beach.

Who - Everyone with a bike and a helmet is welcome to join!

How - Once at Iona Beach, participants will be seeded based on estimated/guessed time to complete the course. Participants will leave ~30 seconds apart, and will be timed on how long it takes for them to complete the 10 K.M. loop. Once you finish, your times are recorded, and you are awarded points based on where you finish in relation to the top time. Next - check the blog later that day to see the official write up and results = bragging rights for next time!

More questions? Find a club exec or post on our FB wall and we will be happy to answer them for you!

See you Saturday,

UBC Tri-Club Exec

Sunday, September 21, 2014

Welcome Back! Weekly Training, Club News and Race Series HYPE!

Hi everyone,

Matt here. Some of you may know me as one of the more elusive members of the UBC Tri Club Executive. This year I have the honor of taking over the blog, and I must say I am feeling the pressure! Last year we were lucky enough to have some great bloggers, including our now CLUB PRESIDENT Seth Blumen..or is it Bluman? (I never remember)...

However, I digress..

First of all, if you are new to the club, or returning for another awesome year - WELCOME! Get ready for another awesome year of training, socializing and of course, eating! We have a ton of great activities/challenges in store for you this year! We are currently into the swing of our fall training phase with weekly swimming/biking/running practices. Swimming practices this year continue to be lead by the awesome Tia, while running practices have been spearheaded by our very own Jen! If you have any questions about how to join us, feel free to contact one of our execs, post on our FB page, or just reply to this post and we will be more than happy to help you out!

Now on to other things...

The start of our FALL RACE SERIES is less than 2 weeks away. If your new to the club you might be asking yourself - "What is the fall race series?" Fair question... The Tri Club race series is possibly the most fun and epic series of mini challenges/events EVER CONCEIVED! It features several small events (I.e. 1 mile run) in which Tri Club members compete against themselves and others for points. At the end of the series, the person with the most points has their statue erected, in solid gold no less, outside the SUB. Well, ok not quite, but winners are immortalized with their names on a really sweet trophy! Plus..bragging rights for eternity. Its all for fun, and it always ends up being a great time!

More to come on the race series, in the meantime however, see you all at practice!

Tuesday, June 10, 2014

Bears, Trestle and Spandex - Shawnigan Lake Race Recap

Think you can be an ironman? Meh, too easy…why not then try the trestle challenge then?

Race organizers wanted to hurry honey things up this year and added a new, yet highly controversial, event called the Trestle Challenge (pronounced with a thick accent ZHAU-LONGE...I think).

A 1.5km swim, 45km bike, half marathon run + the bonus mystical challenge.

Rumours Folklore was shared at Camp Pringle on the eve of the raceday in the Laura Butler Cabin. The bad paraphrase of the story went a little like this: tomorrow the spandex claded race participants shall wrestle a bear once they reached the Kinsol trestle along the run course. The trestle was strategically placed along the run course so the race participants would eventually spread out and not over burden the satellites and preserve the bear's garmin data. This garmin data will award style points to the challenge. Course officials only asked that at least a 12.5 metre gap between athletes be maintained when approaching the bear and this rule will be heavily enforced. Penalty tents will be deployed everywhere. More to come on this story…

Image of the Bear + Trestle pulled from the event website.

The UBCTC was well represented in all three categories this year which included the (ehem equally as important) Sprint and Olympic distances. Obviously there were no mystical challenges in these two events; however the downsides you couldn't bear to fabricate any weak excuses (sorry for the bad pun-nage).

In the Sprint Category, nearly most may believe this to be a quick event. Not for Sean Connor. He decided to invent his own challenge by getting to the race site very fashionably. "Challenge accepted", he said to himself. Long story short, let’s just say he arrived fashionably to race site – i.e. close to 11 pm fashionably on the eve of race day. His list of excuses for such a graceful entrance included a missed ferry, delay due to waiting for a late busload of enthusiastic sporting fans, zoo animals to feed, cakes to eat, babies to save and crimes to solve. Yet Sean still pulled off a great result, finishing 17th place overall and within the top 10% of race participants.

In the Olympic Category, Lindsey Von Bloedau and Stephanie Flynn duked it out for the fiercely contested top spot in the ladies division. There were two scenarios that unfolded after post race interview. Scenario one: Lindsey took a cat nap during the swim and waited until 3km into run to catch Stephanie. Scenario two: Stephanie destroyed the swim-bike and even Lindsey’s bike strength wasn’t enough to overcome the gap until the run. My guess would be the former. The race was on from that point onwards with the two finishing within a close 45.5314 seconds of each other. Lindsey crushed her AG division placing 1st. Stephanie finished 2nd in her AG division. On the men side, Joerg posted the 3rd fastest bike split of the day and a top 10th  overall finish. Despite a missing aero rear wheel due to some technical difficulties, Joerg was still untouchable. 

Okay now back to the Trestle story. There were no furry black creatures along the trestle observed thankfully, at least none with a cocoa cola in hand to the best of my knowledge and hence fortunately no improv wrestling skills were employed during the challenge to obtain flat coke. It wouldn’t have been a pretty site despite the entertainment value and potential billions of moolahs it would have generated in TV sponsorship. Triathletes are generally cool people, but odd in their own way to the general public. So it was two layers of odd with an odd selection of triathletes doing this challenge. Namely the strong run specialists seem to embrace this event over similar swim and bike lengths Olympic distance. Only exception is Lise Munsie who signed up for aqua-bike trestle challenge under doctor's orders for her weakened femur and had a fantastic result being ranked 1st in that under-rated category nobody really talks about openly (sorry guys it's a triathlon blog).

Stephanie claims there were sightings of dears along the run course. I guess you heard it here first, race organizers will now consider putting on a new Dear Challenge for next year. Oh dear! Blankety blank blank...hey at least it's not a bear. 

PS - I guess if you read up to this point and I failed to completely bore you to death, well zhen here's a link to my race report.

Thursday, March 27, 2014

Questionable Math, Rain and a Pressing Need for More Hangers and Closet Space

The sacrifices made on behalf of the ladies in the club in favor of their teams are enormously appreciated, both Sherry and Lindsey put their teams first and put in some great performances today. Keely’s 16:23 today put her third on the women’s podium in the individual event, less than half a minute from the competitors in front of her. Teams composed of triathlon club members managed to finish with times of 12:30 and 12:52 for first and second place in the campus wide CoEd division.The cohesive group of Lindsey, Sean, Chris (Hart), Sebastian and Tiffany were able to consistently lower their times all week- 13:50, 13:17, 12:52. If races stretched into Friday and Saturday there is no telling how quickly they could have completed the course; they were clearly improving every time they raced together.

Last year’s most threatening team made up of dentists in training finished in 13:23 today, proving the triathlon club never did and never will have anything to worry about.

Anyone who thought yesterday’s “mid-sized log in the spokes” comment was facetious, think again. Sadly, the ol’ "log in the spokes trick" wasn’t quite enough for one competitor to clinch a victory. The leader recovered quickly enough to lose only minimal ground. Nor was cutting 11% off the bike course, breaking the strap of one of the better swimming competitor’s goggles seconds before the race or commandeering the wall man of a second competitor who was definitely, definitely better at getting over the wall. Next year, actually training will be the last resort if cheap tricks fail him again.

Even once Daniel got to use his actual Wall Man and got his elbows on top of the wall, another competitor who had already finished the race grabbed his ankles and attempted to pull him back down into the mulch. Unsuccessfully. He always has next year. Antics like that were legal in the 1980’s. Spectator turnout was three times what it is now for the full contact version of Storm the Wall as well. Correlation?

Much like hockey referees are instructed to not break up fights immediately, you can clearly see the REC staff in this photo only half heartedly trying to stop the illegal interference. The photo would seem to indicate that having his wall man stolen away from him allowed Daniel enough time to put on some nice khakis and a T-shirt.
The triathlon club men's individual results:

1. Brendan Naef 13:53
Jonathan Heinz 13: 43 DQ (inability to count)
Daniel Helm 14:02 DQ (too tall to be eligible to compete fairly)

The extremely qualified REC volunteers in the bike lap counting tent were consulted after the race. The sheet below looks complicated, but rest assured all bike-lap-counting volunteers complete an intensive six week training course before being considered for the privilege of sitting in a lawn chair in the rain. Classes include: Counting Carefully up to Ten, Actually Being Able to Raise Your Voice Over 30 Decibels and Keeping Your Composure While Mostly Naked Hunks Cruise By You. It’s a tough job, they actually aren’t allowed to leave until all cyclists complete the course for liability reasons (REC takes waivers seriously); they are still out there huddled under an umbrella. REC staff are bringing them sleeping bags and are trying to contact the fraudulent cyclists, trying to convince them to come back for one more lap so the counters can finally go home.

Anyone who may have performed well today and was omitted from this post either chose a dumb team name that is not their real name for an individual event or does not have the words “Triathlon” or “Club” in it. Or you were just plain overlooked. Apologies in advance. UBC REC’s website is so poorly organized; there is no way I’m sorting through that giant single page of unsorted results. Want to look up a friend’s time from 2013? You had better have the next 40 minutes free and a lot of patience. My grade 4 swim meets had live online streaming and results available up to the minute, no reason UBC REC can’t. They need an overworked, underappreciated volunteer IT staff member.

IKEA promotional staff were seen circulating the wall this afternoon, handing out 40% off coupons for hangers and closet organizers as many club members found themselves left with a slightly larger wardrobe than they did on Monday. The Sweedish never miss an opportunity to capitalize on marketing.

The week’s races are not over; a mile still has to be contested while keeping the contents of your stomach off the play surface for the children of Queen Elizabeth Elementary. It rains enough in Vancouver that we shouldn’t feel bad about it, right? At least we pick up our empties. Although leaving them strewn about would probably be a bigger contribution to the community. 10 cent cans don’t last 30 seconds on a front lawn in Kitsilano.

Watch out for the man doing 3 laps instead of four, drinking 1% Kvass in 191 ml really thick glass bottles. He will bear a striking resemblance to one of the authors of this blog. Daniel says he is drinking four of these and running the four laps on his knees, just to make things fair. The winner gets a two gallon pail of Polysporin. Extra motivation for Eddy to win.

Daniel will be back from his quick promotional tour in Jerusalem for the beer mile, we wish him well while he is there. Images from his trip can be found below.

Want to know who won the spring race series?? Come to the Year end banquet to find out!

Wednesday, March 26, 2014

Inanimate Wall Dashes Dreams, Realizes Others.

Lindsey, Keely and Sherry carry the hopes (and fears, judgements and nervous aspirations)of the club on the woman's side. Lindsey would seems to have the edge at the wall, Sebastian was overheard speaking to a group of his geologist colleagues after fulfilling his duties as Lindsey's semi-final wall man. "She's as light as a cotton ball dipped in helium she is; threw her to the top of the wall as easily as Matt Reeve jumps on a chance at shameless self promotion, I did". The girls qualifying times are within minutes of each other, a well executed scaling of the wall may be crucial for a victory.
The Men's individual race goes ahead tomorrow with a chance of a sweep of the podium. Daniel, Brendan and Jon have 3 of the 4 fastest qualifying times to date. The latter two times are 4 seconds apart, so it will almost certainly come down to tampering of swim goggles, Tiger Balm in the Speedo or surreptitiously deflating bike tires to gain a significant advantage. It will take a stick (or mid-sized log) in the spokes to bring Brendan down onto a level playing field as he has so far posted the only sub 14:00 time on Campus, a feat the vast majority of teams fail to accomplish. But they have five people to get over the wall, so no one is really impressed.

We won't see much of Daniel after this week; his recent accomplishments have led various religious groups and political leaders to attempt to use his skills for their own promotional purposes. A group of Ultra-Orthodox Jews were outside Sauder today, scouting Daniel to see if they would be able to use his wall mounting skills to raise awareness to their plight. Israel's recent passing of a law enabling the conscripting of Ultra-Orthodox Jews into the military has led to a slew of high publicity public awareness campaigns. Daniel is lined up to tackle Jerusalem's 62 foot Western Wall next month, with sixteen photographers on hand to document the historic feat.

Immediately after the SuperIron event, Daniel accepted a phone call from Chinese President Xi Jinping, inviting him to scale some of his country's 2700 year old National treasure. Not be outdone, Dennis Rodman and Kim Jong-un sent a package with round trip airfare to Pyongyan; provided Daniel pose for pictures with their 12 foot "wall of impenetrable defence" in the demilitarization zone. To prove it exists and silence any sceptical South Koreans, we can suppose.

Apparently there are still some teams competing as well. UBC REC seems to have over-ordered the white cotton T-Shirts this year. You can now get a T-Shirt for taking the best photo of the wall, for being closest to the wall at some arbitrary time and for drinking the most beer while leaning against a wall of any type. An extra thick, white merino wool T-Shirt is awarded to which ever competitor can stuff the most bark mulch in their Speedo while keeping a straight face. We wish any club members still in team events the best of luck.

If you don't think any of the club members are worth watching in competition tomorrow, come on down to the wall anyway. You can get a $7 McDonald's gift card if you give Mr.Lube your SIN Number, shoe size and a photocopy of your passport. The surly men at the booth also give you a strange cup of popcorn if you also sign a contract guaranteeing all of your children and grand children will get their oil changes done at Mr. Lube in perpetuity.

The weather forecast calls for rain until Sunday, but it doesn't really matter anymore since the walls are covered in sandpaper squares. Bring an umbrella, some absorbent socks and watch the most overly publicized and attended intramural event in North America that a few dozen people take way too seriously and the rest of the campus doesn't really care about. Storm the wall hasn't really been worth watching since the late 1980's anyway when chains, ladders, crampons and bear spray were added to the list of prohibited race items. It used to be fun to watch. You can't even use an opponents's team member as a climbing implement anymore.

courtsey Ubyssesy archives

Thursday, March 20, 2014

The 4-lapper, 4(/5!)-person mile

The 4-lapper, 4(/5!)-person mile

Gathering at the track on a windy cold Wednesday were Nima, Seth, Jen, and Keith! (Matt B. was there earlier to run the same race!)

Matt B ran the race earlier than the rest of (with a 5:45 time), but to add to the intensity, no one but Jen knew his time going into race, who kept it a secret... Jen offered to pace everyone to do their best (that is, beat Matt!). The laps started out fast but the 4-person group stuck together, and Jen continued to run on the track appearing as if this was just a brisk jog for her (or yog if you prefer a soft j) - appearing to just float over the ground compared to the rest of the gasping sweaty guys racing next to her.

On the last lap, Jen took off, but mainly just so she could get ahead to get to the timer first, to be able to give everyone else their race times, but she still gracefully shot around the track for her last lap. Shortly after Keith began picking up the pace, and Seth followed and up'ed the ante with an even more rowdy (speedy!) pace. A lightning bolt then shot down from the sky and Seth turned into he-man, and began a sprint for the finish line (and even if you're Keith, we all know no one can keep up with he-man).
^Look at that epic mullet and sword, and not to mention powerful legs that Keith would in no way win against

 Seth finished in first for the men's (@ 5:31) and was a half second after followed by Keith ( no joke - literally 0.5 second difference - look at the times to know I'm not lying), and then Nima. As Seth and Keith crossed the finish line they could sense Matt crying a little inside from far away - as this might distance him further from the Vince Lavallee Cup. There's no telling who will win this race series, but Jen has been crushing it for the women lately, and Matt and Nima are playing it close.

Times from the Mile:
Jen 5:25
Nima 5:42 Seth 5:31 Keith 5:31.5
Matt 5:45

Until next time folks,
Good luck to everyone in storm the wall!!!!!!!!!!!

UBC Tri Exec

UBC TRI DU - Big Numbers


There was an awesomely large representation of the UBC Triathlon Club at UBC TRI DU!!
Coming out to the race from the club were: Matt B., Keith, Lyndsay, Jen Moroz, Brendan, Chris Bhatla, Nima, Dylan, Winston, Heather,  Janis, Chris Young, Sebastian, Chris young, Janis, Maddie, Sherry, Katrina, and Meagan. 

A shout-out to UBC REC for improving their security for bikes at the UBC Tri Du.

Considering this was an all-indoor pool event this year, there was bound to be few collisions. Seth was reported to crash into every other racer in his heat. Most racers from the club managed to leave the race with gasping lungs, hungry bellies, and tired bodies. Janis had a huge PB (personal best) doing the Olympic distance race. Chris Young, Winston, and Brendan all crushed the olympic distance race. 
I'd like to thank Brendan for biking alongside Seth to cheer him on during the race.
I'd also like to give a shout out to anyone who either was doing their first Tri Du, first triathlon ever (e.g. Maddie), or attempting a new distance (e.g. Janis)! And also a shout-out to everyone who did do Tri Du, and has been challenging their skills/fitness with the spring race series!

Almost the end of term, so keep coming out to those race series events!

All the best,
UBC Tri Exec

Monday, March 17, 2014

5km RUNNNNNNN and Post-Tri Du Sore Legs

Although this event did go down the week after the UBC Triathlon, the runners eager to put their legs back to the test with a 5-km run!

Similar to the uphill run results earlier in the week, Jen Moroz proved to us that she's back, and taking her running to the next level.
Above: Media representation based on eye-witness account of Jen Moroz at the race

Above: Media representation based on eye-witness account of everyone else at the race, especially those still in pain from UBC Tri Du.

Above: The fascination on everyones face as they finished their last lap to find Jen Moroz not only recovered after her awesome run, but also already helping to time the run and cheer them on.

Important Field Notes:
-Meghan and Maddy took this race on as an epic duo and finished strong!
-on average, the girls whooped the guys times in this race!
-Matt's streak of winning of the Men from the Spring Race Series was blown by Nima and Chris's outstanding performances! Chris took the race win for the men!
-Jenn did in fact finish this race at least a minute faster than everyone else. Yeah. That happened.
-Keith got mixed up and stopped after 4.5 laps... but after seeing Seth and Matt continue running by him, got back up from his stopped position and went for that other lap to finish off the race. Not many of us would get back on track after stopping thinking we had gassed the tank, so I commend this act of honour. Keith's prize will be a mini-cliff protein bar from the tri club cupboard.

The times were as follows:

Chris H: 19:01
Matt B: 20:15
Seth: 19:50
Keith: 20:15
Jojo: 22:19
Gavin: 21:38
Nima: 19:32

Meghan: 20:50
Jenn M: 18:10
Maddy: 20:50

Congrats to all who came out, you showed everyone that not even Tri Du can stop ya!

See you at the next Spring Race Series Event!