Saturday, March 31, 2012

Beer Mile version 8.0!


Walk with me as I recount everyones favourite event of the semester. The Triathlon club wrap up beer mile!

This race was greatly anticipated. After such a successful campaign of Wall Storming this week, there was no excuse not to race hard.

Talks of the beer mile began weeks ago. A forgotten hero of the Triathlon Club felt as though too much attention was being given to the quickly approaching Storm the Wall event, and saddened by the fact that he could no longer participate, decided to redirect the attention to himself by throwing down threats of glory come the beer mile.

By skillfully choosing his competitor (one who is currently injured and wasn't planning on racing the beer mile) Vincent almost all but guaranteed his victory! Now all that was needed was some good natured trash talking. Brendan Naef was very helpful in this quest, as he wished to divert attention from the flies in his soup onto others by creating propaganda posters for the event.

Brendan stated earlier this week that my trash talk is inversely proportional to the likelyhood of my winning an event. Spoiler alert! I won! That being said, I think this statement should be rephrased. The likelyhood of my wining an event is DIRECTLY proportional to the amount of trash talk I give.

That sounds about right. So keeping that in mind, I just want to throw it out there that I will be winning the Grand Columbian this coming September. No random guy is going to beat me.

Back to the beer mile! We rolled up to the undisclosed track just as darkness was falling. Fortunately the weather decided to be kind to us, as the rain had stopped and it wasn't actually that cold of a night. Unfortunately, there were a few individuals who were running a little late. Brendan (our eventual victor of the evening in a time of 7:40) came sprinting to the track, only to learn that his rushed arrival was unnecessary as we were still waiting on Victoria and Dylan. They eventually arrived after sufficient jokes were made as to why they were running late and the beer mile finally got underway.

The intensity of the Eagle!

There were many first time Beer Milers out last night. Brendan, our seasoned veteran knew better than to take off flying like so many of these young kids. Consistency from the gun won him this race in a time of 7:40.

Kevin I believe finished in second, in a time of 8:18

There is a good chance that Scott was somewhere in the mix of top finishers, however, since I didn't see him cross the line in the dark. I'm going to assume he vomited and never actually made it to the end.

Entertaining vomits from the evening came from Winston, Nathaniel, Mike Duncan and Max! Max also was celebrated, as we watched him race off on his punishment 5th lap at a pace that left everyone simply in awe as his silhouette glided along the track. And we can't forget newcomer and wall man extraordinaire Daniel Helm who once again appeared to be in the running for the lead, only to vomit after 3 laps.

In the girls race, despite her crushing defeat to Vincent Lavallée, Kendra still put in a solid effort to easily win the girls race in a time of 10:15 ish. She claimed that had she been able to run (remember she is injured), her time would have easily beaten mine. Of that, I have no doubt, which obviously factored into my decision to challenge her.

Victoria finished in second place in the girls race. Managing once again to successfully hold down her alcohol. Something that as I've already mentioned, can't be said for many of the guys.

With the absence of Jon who was participating in a race of his own (33:00 10km NBD), there was no one close enough to challenge the team record held by Kory of 6:59. Its a solid record, but I am confident that one day it will fall.

Unfortunately, due to the nature of the event (being in the dark and involving alcohol), my memory of other finishers is somewhat hazy. So if anyone has additions to make, let me know and I will be sure to add them in.

And finally, I would like to thank our fantastic hosts last night, Brittany and Matt for having another great after party, as well as Dylan and Victoria for supplying Jello shots for everyone.

One last event left this semester! Stay tuned for the year end potluck!

Thursday, March 29, 2012


The Ironman finish today came down to a hair. To the victor's relief, Brendan has no upper body strength and Matt still easily vaulted the wall, finishing in 13:35, by far the fastest time of any individual competitor this week.

Otherwise from the photo, one might think it was a close race.

As expected, the Triathalon (yes- spelled with an "a") club coed team and Triathlon Club (this team captain used spell check) men's team won overall. The men's team had less than 10 minutes rest between heats this afternoon and finished in 13:03, a bit behind the 12:47 that they ran earlier in the day. The 13:03 was good for second place, but to be fair I'm pretty sure the 12:47 stands as the fastest time on campus all week.

Jen tried to stall the swim start for the coed final as long as possible, pretending to lose her goggles and faking an asthma attack. An irritated lifeguard eventually started the race. In the end, the team still managed to come in just over 13 minutes (13:03). Barry had to complete 18 near consecutive laps of the bike course, with a brief interlude to be pulled over the wall.

Individually, Jen had a very fast swim for the Ironwoman final as well; finishing some 20 seconds ahead of Karin. Kelsey finished right in between the two, after one of the most efficient wall climbs of the week. Her wall man deserves a cookie. He also did a very good job of holding her bike. The times are somewhat hard to read for the women's final (in the 30 minute range)because an ambulance and firetruck had to take the least direct, most congested route to Buchannan. The girls were left to shiver in wet bathing suits and were only allowed back on the course after a 15 minute delay with 1 or 2 laps of the bike route left to be completed. Victoria finished second overall, a minute in front of Jen.

Although from Jen's smile one might think it was still Monday preliminaries.

Also finishing the individual finals, John (14:52) and Drew (15:25) ran their fastest races of the week and are relieved that the previously mentioned bark-mulch-in-Speedo contest was called off at the last moment.
All REC volunteers and wall men deserve a huge thank you after this week, they put in just as much time as the competitors but end up being in far less photos.

This gives Matt three victories for the week and a lot of new T-shirts in his wardrobe. He was seen headed to Ikea immediately after today's last event to buy additional hangers for his closet and a really fancy iron. A photo of Matt is also the current leader in the Storm the Wall photo contest, although it will be the photographer who gets the real credit. So Matt still has a very good chance of winning 4 events this week. Needless to say, it has been a good week for the club President. Nathaniel points out that he is still a worthy leader as he beat Matt in the 2010 final, by nearly two minutes if he can recall correctly. As club president, Nathaniel will be expected to win at least 3 or 4 events for the 2013 edition of Storm the Wall.


Many individual competitors secured themselves spots in tomorrow's finals. Victoria took more than 30 seconds off of her time from Wednesday and finished in 15:26. Not far behind was Jen Bhatla in 15:41, and Karin and Kelsey finishing 1 second apart (in different heats) both finishing just under the 16:30 mark.

On the Men's side Matt (14:46) and Brendan (14:14) both won their heats and will certainly advance. Quick times were run by Drew and John, finishing in 15:29 and 15:24 respectively. They might not be bale to flip turn, but they should be able to keep up appearances for the later stages of the race. The last one out of the pool has agreed to stuff two handfuls of bark mulch in his Speedo after getting over the wall, so the incentive for a quick swim is present.

Also barely worth mentioning, the club president today became perhaps the first ever competitor in the Super Ironman event to ever make it to the wall in less than fifteen minutes. And the only competitor at least in recent memory to get over the wall in under twenty minutes (19:49).

UBC REC has some excellent photographers, and as the only photographers permitted within the blue fencing, all photo credit is entirely theirs.

Whatever happens tomorrow, at least this many people will be watching from the knoll:

Also of note, Nathaniel is the new club President. He will now be single-handedly taking care of all future blog posts, club memberships, event organisation, sponsorship and room bookings. He is also now solely responsible for the website, please contact him directly with absolutely any complaints or comments. The hours of Midnight-Dawn are preferred.

Wednesday, March 28, 2012


The hourly forecast has improved! Noon today, 40% chance of showers!

3% Chance of:

I'm not so concerned for the competitors, they will be out there no matter what. A bit of sun might triple the number of spectators on the knoll, that's the important part. This guy needs as much support as he can get:

Tuesday, March 27, 2012


With the exception of Matt coming in at14:06 mark for his Ironman heat today, there wasn't too much excitement at the wall. He may have handicapped himself severely by not choosing Sunday for his first heat and allowing for adequate rest. I only spent 20 minutes there instead of my usual four hours, so I apologize in advance to anyone that I may be overlooking.

Really good races to watch should be the club's men's team at 1:10 on Thursday and the mixed team earlier the same day, at 11:55. Three interesting races should be run just before noon tomorrow. The Super Ironwomen start in the pool at 11:30, followed closely by the sponsor's heat at 11:45. The 5 Gum Team is supposed to be a good one to watch. The Super Ironman heat begins at 12:00, expect competitors to be at the wall as late 1:00.

I tried to access the Vancouver section of Environment Canada's website- but this is the only image that I could get to come up.

But Look, it doesn't matter if it rains.

Monday, March 26, 2012


Not surprisingly, the fastest Ironperson and team times of this year's Storm the Wall races all belong to UBC triathlon club members.

Victoria is the leading Ironwoman, right on the sixteen minute mark. Jen Bhatla is very close behind, after an incredible swim, beating most men's times and finishing in 16:18.

Both the Coed and Men's triathlon club teams have the fastest times so far, 14:02 for the mixed team on Sunday and the fastest time on campus going to the men's team this morning- 13:35. Barry took the corners very easy, and Daniel needs some practice grabbing the baton- sub 13:00 might not be impossible for the team.

Matt is wisely storing up energy for a Tuesday race, leaving Brendan's 14:31 and Nathaniel's 14:24 unchallenged for now. But Nathaniel won't be advancing to compete this week so none cares that he has the current fastest time.

For anyone who hasn't raced yet- don't worry about getting over the wall. As the image below shows, you really don't have to jump very high at all:

Thursday, March 22, 2012


The Spring fling race series ended this morning, with the two leading males in the point series contesting the last event- the mile. Both competitors initially tried to pull ahead by 50 participation points by pretending to not be able to make it to Wednesday night's event; hoping their opponent would show up to find a deserted track on Thursday morning and victory out of reach.

Matt went so far as to invent a fake ring ceremony for engineers, and spent most of the week hammering a crude iron ring out of a rusty nail in his basement. A resident expert (Winston) was contacted, he being the only club member with a Master in Engineering. He confirmed that there is not and never has been a ring ceremony for engineers. Apparently, no structure, machine or heating and ventilation system ever designed by any engineer has ever been shown to have any flaws or defects. Therefore a reminder of the obligations and ethics of the profession is not required.

Hoping Brendan would buy the ring ceremony excuse and not show up on Wednesday night, Matt hoped to replicate his post St. Patrick's day aquathon success through trickery and deceit, relying little on any athletic ability. Brendan did show up on Wednesday, mainly to serve as a photographer and collect 7 minutes of stunning video footage. Forgoing the easy victory, Brendan graciously decided to wait for Matt to be able to compete the following morning.

Matt knew he would need to win the mile by a full 18 seconds to be able to get his name written on the Vincent Lavallee Cup for a ninth time. He lead for a quick first 200 meters, before letting Brendan fight the wind for the next 1400.

Coming through 800m in 2:27, a personal best for Brendan was all but a guarantee. Lap 3 and 4 were within seconds of the first two. Finishing in 5:01, he has gotten significantly faster since running 5:24 the first time he ran the mile as part of a race series event. Matt was on his shoulder for all but the last lap, finishing in a quick 5:05. More importantly, he was well ahead of Vince's 5:13 from the previous night. Even though Vince had to run alone and was wearing a very heavy toque.

The fastest girl from Wednesday's race was Eliza, running a stellar 5:38; one of the fastest ever times for the club on the ladies side. Victoria finished second, while Theresa made up a lot of ground on her with a really quick last lap, finishing at Victoria's shoulder, both in 6:04. Victoria's name will be added to the Lavallee cup once again.

Daniel shaved a full 19 seconds off of his mile time from the fall, finishing well under the five minute mark at 4:55. A great performance after complaining of "measles, pneumonia, leprosy and a touch of tuberculosis" all of which had been unfortunately contracted in the previous 48 hours. Daniel should wash his hands more often. He also collects the prize for being the most obviously exhausted at the finish line.

Seth won the title of tightest outfit for the event. Looking great also helped Seth feel great. So good in fact that he raced Eliza for a second mile. He lost, but then he was wearing rather heavy shoes so it wasn't really a fair contest.

There is still Storm the Wall and some one more mile (with beer) left this year, so no one can relax just yet. Look for a comprehensive report on the progress of both individual and team performances next week.

Monday, March 19, 2012

UBC Triathlon/Duathlon

March 11th, saw over 30 club members taking place in the UBC Triathlon and Duathlon.  We were very fortunate to have received our clothing order for the year just days before the race and with the weather co-operating many members were able to race in their fabulous new triathlon suits.  We are very grateful for the support from the UBC AMS as well as our sponsors: West Point Multisport, The Run Inn, Dunbar Physio, and Clif Bar as they helped us keep the price of our new triathlon suits and bike kits affordable for the student athlete.

Barry was seen racing in his specialty, the Duathlon, and his despite his numerous hours spent studying for the MCAT he was still able to pull off the overall win with a time of 1:15:40.  Also racing in the Duathlon was Chris finishing 2nd in his age group with a time of 1:31:21.  Chris also did the unthinkable and raced in the Olympic Distance race later the same day.  He says he just wanted the prestige of racing two races however rumor has it he felt he needed more time practicing transitions before racing Ironman Canada later this summer.

In the Sprint distance race we saw Nathaniel finish as the fastest tri club member in 1:14:02.  Clearly he needs to work on his pool run time as it was the 127th slowest but given his 4th fastest swim time I suppose he has a good excuse for being tired.  Crazy Jon was also seen racing in the Sprint and unthinkably the Olypmic as well later in the day.  Eddy was in hot pursuit of Jake finishing 26seconds back.  Stephanie had a solid 3rd place finish in her age group with a time of 1:26:38.  Also spotted out on the course were Robin, Keely, and Kate.

In the Olympic Distance race it’s a good thing there were different heats or it would have looked like a shark fest in the pool with us all swimming over each other in an attempt to be the first out on the bike!  Some speedy swimmers were even seen placing themselves in slower heats so they could be out in front and have a clear pool to swim in . . . you know who you are!

The first Tri Club finisher was Brendan with a whopping time of 2:05:06.  This blisteringly fast time was also able to claim him 3rd place overall and 2nd in his age group.  In hot pursuit was Matt who finished 2nd in his age group and was followed by Vince who as predicted finished right around 2:18 just like every year before.  Clearly age isn’t slowing Vince down . . . yet.  Not far behind was a close race between Chris, Dylan, Winston and Joel who all finished within two minutes of each other.  Behind them were Mike, Derrick, and Kevin busy battling it out amongst themselves.

The first female in the club to finish was Victoria with a time of 2:36:27, fast enough to claim her 2nd overall female and 1st in her age group.  She was closely followed by Kelsey and Jenn who finished only 14seconds apart.  Jenn had a amazing race finishing 24minutes faster then last year and was overheard saying all she did differently this year was one extra pool swim a week!!  Winston is now contemplating adopting this tactic as part of his world domination plan.

Great job to everyone who raced and watch out for us racing around this summer in our fabulous new bike kits and tri suits!!

Barry: 1:15:40, 1st overall male, 1st in AG
Chris: 1:31:21, 2nd in AG

Nathaniel: 1:14:02,
Jon: 1:20:24
Jake: 1:21:04
Eddy: 1:21:30
Robin: 1:26:13
Stephanie: 1:26:38, 3rd in AG
Keely: 1:27:16
Seth: 1:34:01
Kate: 1:35:11

Brendan: 2:05:06, 3rd overall male, 2nd in AG
Matt: 2:14:53, 2nd in AG
Vince: 2:17:38, 3rd in AG
Max: 2:20:55
Chris: 2:29:38
Dylan: 2:29:58, 3rd in AG
Winston: 2:30:52
Joel: 2:31:15
Mike: 2:33:58
Derrick: 2:34:21
Kevin: 2:34:59
Victoria: 2:36:27, 2nd overall female, 1st in AG
Jon: 2:37:22
Kelsey: 2:39:29
Jenn: 2:39:43
Ben: 2:43:41
Jesse: 2:53:09
Rachel: 2:54:55
Graham: 3:01:31
Theresa: 3:01:57
Kyuwon: 3:11:52

Sunday, March 11, 2012

It's game time.

See you at the finish line.

Saturday, March 3, 2012

Damnit Brendan!