Tuesday, December 8, 2015

Uphill Bike & Race Series Final Results

Since the beginning of humankind, we have dreamt of escaping the confines of our local gravity well, of taking flight and exploring the stars. Da Vinci studied the flight of birds to inspire his designs of flying machines, but it was bike mechanics, not polymaths, who first took us to the skies.

And so it was with this in mind that on November 22nd, a group of triathletes released their trusty two-wheeled steeds and set off up the Spanish Banks hill in an attempt to join the ranks of Amelia Earhart, Lance Armstrong, and Icarus.

Eric "Eponymous" Zhao had been sitting out the race series up until this point, opting instead to time the events. But this time he figured, What the hey, he needed to bike up the hill anyway to time the finish, why not just giv'er and put in a time worthy of immortalizing in the annals of UBCTC? So he did. He generously gave himself and 10-second deduction for starting the timer and putting the timer in/taking it out of his backpack.

Melissa "Natural Killah" Jung was next up the hill. She didn't seem too enthused about having nobody to chase. Lions don't run for no reason. But we convinced her that if lions had access to high-caloric foods as easily as we did, they would be at great risk for cardiovascular conditions. That spurred her to do the race.

Emily "Kind-of-a-big-deal" Rankin was next, channeling all the rage built up over years of teaching schoolchildren and designing beautiful buildings into a roid-rage-worthy performance.

On the men's side, rumours emerged that the rivalry between Chris and Flo has escalated to such a point that Kanye and 50 Cent could not help but take notice. Ever the gentlemen, the two waited until the team had left on their staggered starts before ripping into each other with caustic one-liners and trash talk that could fill 50 Great Pacific Garbage Patches. Keep an eye on these two next semester!

And that concludes the Fall 2015 UBC Triathlon Club Race Series! Thanks everyone for participating. If you couldn't run/swim/bike with us this term, you'll have another opportunity next semester. Don't worry too much about winning -- as Winston "Blue Steel" Guo always says, it's not about the Race Series points, it's about the style points.

Fall 2015 UBC Triathlon Club Race Series Final Results.

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