Wednesday, March 18, 2015

Iona Beach T.T. Recap - Introducing our future blogger to the fold...

How much road grit must a cyclist swallow before they call her a Vancouverite? The answer, my friends, was blowing in the cold grey winds on Sunday morning as the UBC Triathlon Club set out for Iona Beach to test their mettle.

The men’s leading contender, Matt “Eats-Cassettes-for-Breakfast” Baumeister, was noticeably absent from the morning scrum outside The Boulevard Cafe. Rumours abounded, but credible insider sources mentioned a scheduling conflict with a cooking class involving crockpots… This author will refrain from commenting on the importance of setting priorities.

Seth “Fearless Leader” Bluman led the pack down Southwest Marine in shiny new fluorescent garb and a cephalopod-like helmet. Tri Club veteran Winston “Stylepoints” Guo materialized somewhere along 16th Avenue. We think he may be the “spirit” of the Pacific Spirit Park.

Newcomer Sebastian “The Aviator” Munro was ecstatic to learn that we were going to the airport. So excited that he took flight early, but unfortunately he encountered turbulence at 30,000ft and crash-landed on the luxurious lawns of Southwest Marine. Emphasis on luxurious, though, as the ground was so soft that he walked away with only a scratch.

Once on the course, Keith “Slavedriver” Bystrom had no time for excuses and pushed us to do a warmup lap. Unfortunately, I think he was sleeping during his heat transfer lectures because, given the wind velocity, ambient temperature, and typical body surface areas of a triathlete, it was physically impossible to stay warm.

Jen “Jackrabbit” Moroz volunteered lead the pack and time the finish. Vanessa “Highest-Power-to-Weight-Ratio” Tilson followed. This author suspects she’s got turbochargers somewhere in her thighs. Definitely not a naturally aspirated engine. Katrina “Wears-all-the-Pants” Dutkiewicz came straight from a night of saving babies’ lives. No sleep, no problem.

Sweet day all in all! If you’re sad you missed it, worry not, for we have more Spring Race Series events ahead! Next up is the [Denim] Mile!

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